Hmm .. I m thinking what to update in my blog .. Bcoz many ppl complaint that i hardly update my blog .. Dai lou ar, "ng sai zhou meh"? bz working ar .. :p
Hmm .. maybe can continue from the last blog that i posted here ..
I have made a decision to put down the past and continue my life as how i did previously .. The story and process of this was jz too complicated, long, and unhappy . So, don12 raise it out again . The most important thing is everything getting stable and it would be just fine . Peace. Cheers.
Sorry and thanks again for everything..
Nothing special to update for 1st week of Nov bcoz too bz working. But i would like to wish my didi(Bennyzai)
Happy Birthday !! (Again) hehe ..
Dai gor zai lo.. sang sang seng seng ya .. hehe ..
Wish you all the best in future ..
A tired weekend again - went to celebrate Benny's birthday (diner + club). After club, still chit chatting until morning only sleep .. (almost every Fri and Sat sleep at the morning . :X )
The next day, maybe too tired and had no plan, so just play mahjong with frenz until night then went for dinner. After dinner, we played a game that i never play after form 3 i think .. The Millionare. All of us play like a kid. Haha.. I still rmbr i quite good in playing this game last time. Who knows , i was the 1st one declared bankrupt . :-{
After the games, some fren went club again, but it was too late and i was tired that time, so i didn't join them and just stay at home and chit chat with Benny. This xiao didi , suddenly said want to buy some beer to drink. End up, we went 7-E to buy some beer and McD.. (about 2am sth i guess :s)
After one bottle of beer, maybe i too tired , yet the ppl asked me to buy beer ar, jz sit there online whole night, sien sei ngo.. End up, i fell asleep.
Sei zai bao, said me so early tired and sleep :s.. Leng zai , it was about 4pm ler.. should sleep de lo , haha..
Hmm, dunno what to write anymore. Going to finish up my drama "Ka hou Yuet Yuen". Damn nice .. hehe.
Good Nitez..zZzz..
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
What should i do ?!
These few days since Wednesday, i had no mood at all, down, couldn't even concentrate in working(although bz and alot of works), couldn't sleep well, couldn't stop myself keep on asking many things to make everything clear and decision to make, couldn't control myself to think what was happening .. And, couldn't stop myself to drink , stupid uh?
Since Wednesday, E had choose to tell me honestly what was happened few days ago. Becasue E didn't explain clearly and i was started to unhapppy that time, then i didn't want to continue the phone conversation. I called F as F knows what was happening and F explained everything that F knows to me. I was still really can't accept part of the mistake, but F advised me to give a chance to E and need to tell E, what is the limitation and must say out i really don't like ppl to do so. So, i talked to E and had dinner together. Everything was going fine and back to normal.
After dinner, i got to kno sth that i didn't know when i talk to E. E explained it by simplifying it. I didn't know it was happened like that. I was so down that point of time and drank beers alone at home and non stop smoking to make myself blur and drunk, so that i could just go off and sleep and do not need to think that much. During that time, i called F who the one that i really need that point of time. F had explain to me what things happened, why was it happened, and advised me to give E a chance if i still want to hold this as everyone does mistake. (i agree everyone does mistake but i don't really agree such a action under such a situation is normal for our "life"). I told E, i can't accept. End up, E came and find me to apologize and asked for a chance. I think back the advice that F gave and I did feel E apologize sincerely. I accepted the apologize.
The next day (Friday), i thought everything was going fine until i got to know one more thing that i had asked many time to B and E, and asked them to tell me honestly cos i HATE ppl lie. They said no, i trust them. The reason y the said no to me although i asked many many time , over and over again is they couldn't even remember that. Some ppl rmbr clearly, some ppl don't (so they said no). I was lost my direction and i didn't trust anyone of them at that point of time. I went back to work station, i told myself, i don't want to listen anyone of you de explaination and i need to work cos i got many works to do .. Until B sms and called me to declare everything. And i know, what happened, for the "one more thing" that i got to know on Friday jz a misunderstanding among our conversation.
Now i got to know everything from you guys (i m kind a person must know everything clearly before i can make any decision). Some of you might think i m stubborn, and why always make assumption, and why always think what i think is right (B was saying this to me , which i felt hurt deeply - cos B can't understand my feeling at that point of time, but i do not expect B can understand me well as we just know each other less than 3 months). Cos i just want to know everything clear and settle down everything.
After all, now i have to make decision if i can "put down" and accept back these 2 important person in my life which is i keep on thinking these 2 days. Now, i still dunno what to do, and what should i do. Anyone can tell me??.. I told B and E, to leave me alone few days to think about the decision. Until now.. i'm stil thinking nth.. Cos don't want to think..
Again, yest went to club and drank alot with frenz. This morning i wake up and write this blog, i feeling myself very stupid to make myself drunk so many days to avoid the problem and decision. Now, i really have to go and think bout it. I kno i can.
B (if u r here to read this) - Thanks for being so honest to me. And through the msn conversation that day, i know, how do u think about me - catch words, always make assumption and etc. I'm sorry if i really push u hard situation. One thing i ask for your understanding is , this is my 1st time having such conflict and i really lost my direction to understand and know the whole story. One last thing, i hope i can get your sincerely sorry too..
C (if u are here to read this) - Thanks for everything. I know u concern and worry about me. Really appreciate it. I didn't trust anyone of you at that point of time and i didn't blame you. Here, i want to apologize to u if you think i used to think that. One thing i ask for your understanding is , this is my 1st time having such conflict and i was lost my direction to trust anyone at that point of time. One good thing is , i got to know more about u since this happened. We are still very good fren, right? (Hopefully)
E (if u are here to read this) - As we spoke, i need time.. Give me sometime, i will tell you the decision. I know u feel sorry and regret sincerely from what you told me these few days and ask for a chance. But now, the prob is at my side to "put down". Maybe i really need time.
F (if u are here to read this) - Thanks for being there for me to tell and explain to me, to be my good listener and adviser. Thanks for everything. Now, it's only depend on my side. As you said, u always support me on the decision i make and always stand my side. Thanks !
Since Wednesday, E had choose to tell me honestly what was happened few days ago. Becasue E didn't explain clearly and i was started to unhapppy that time, then i didn't want to continue the phone conversation. I called F as F knows what was happening and F explained everything that F knows to me. I was still really can't accept part of the mistake, but F advised me to give a chance to E and need to tell E, what is the limitation and must say out i really don't like ppl to do so. So, i talked to E and had dinner together. Everything was going fine and back to normal.
After dinner, i got to kno sth that i didn't know when i talk to E. E explained it by simplifying it. I didn't know it was happened like that. I was so down that point of time and drank beers alone at home and non stop smoking to make myself blur and drunk, so that i could just go off and sleep and do not need to think that much. During that time, i called F who the one that i really need that point of time. F had explain to me what things happened, why was it happened, and advised me to give E a chance if i still want to hold this as everyone does mistake. (i agree everyone does mistake but i don't really agree such a action under such a situation is normal for our "life"). I told E, i can't accept. End up, E came and find me to apologize and asked for a chance. I think back the advice that F gave and I did feel E apologize sincerely. I accepted the apologize.
The next day (Friday), i thought everything was going fine until i got to know one more thing that i had asked many time to B and E, and asked them to tell me honestly cos i HATE ppl lie. They said no, i trust them. The reason y the said no to me although i asked many many time , over and over again is they couldn't even remember that. Some ppl rmbr clearly, some ppl don't (so they said no). I was lost my direction and i didn't trust anyone of them at that point of time. I went back to work station, i told myself, i don't want to listen anyone of you de explaination and i need to work cos i got many works to do .. Until B sms and called me to declare everything. And i know, what happened, for the "one more thing" that i got to know on Friday jz a misunderstanding among our conversation.
Now i got to know everything from you guys (i m kind a person must know everything clearly before i can make any decision). Some of you might think i m stubborn, and why always make assumption, and why always think what i think is right (B was saying this to me , which i felt hurt deeply - cos B can't understand my feeling at that point of time, but i do not expect B can understand me well as we just know each other less than 3 months). Cos i just want to know everything clear and settle down everything.
After all, now i have to make decision if i can "put down" and accept back these 2 important person in my life which is i keep on thinking these 2 days. Now, i still dunno what to do, and what should i do. Anyone can tell me??.. I told B and E, to leave me alone few days to think about the decision. Until now.. i'm stil thinking nth.. Cos don't want to think..
Again, yest went to club and drank alot with frenz. This morning i wake up and write this blog, i feeling myself very stupid to make myself drunk so many days to avoid the problem and decision. Now, i really have to go and think bout it. I kno i can.
B (if u r here to read this) - Thanks for being so honest to me. And through the msn conversation that day, i know, how do u think about me - catch words, always make assumption and etc. I'm sorry if i really push u hard situation. One thing i ask for your understanding is , this is my 1st time having such conflict and i really lost my direction to understand and know the whole story. One last thing, i hope i can get your sincerely sorry too..
C (if u are here to read this) - Thanks for everything. I know u concern and worry about me. Really appreciate it. I didn't trust anyone of you at that point of time and i didn't blame you. Here, i want to apologize to u if you think i used to think that. One thing i ask for your understanding is , this is my 1st time having such conflict and i was lost my direction to trust anyone at that point of time. One good thing is , i got to know more about u since this happened. We are still very good fren, right? (Hopefully)
E (if u are here to read this) - As we spoke, i need time.. Give me sometime, i will tell you the decision. I know u feel sorry and regret sincerely from what you told me these few days and ask for a chance. But now, the prob is at my side to "put down". Maybe i really need time.
F (if u are here to read this) - Thanks for being there for me to tell and explain to me, to be my good listener and adviser. Thanks for everything. Now, it's only depend on my side. As you said, u always support me on the decision i make and always stand my side. Thanks !
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